Winter Meetings

Less than two months until pitchers and catchers report and I watch SportsCenter each night hoping to hear something - anything - about the winter trades. Of course, being Week 16-17 in the NFL means that no mention of baseball will make its way into SportsCenter unless an entire team is traded. This also means that I will likely have to subscribe to ESPN Deportes so that I can catch Dominican baseball. No worries... I can do this. Winters are long and hard for us baseball fans but there are ways to entertain ourselves during this trying time. I will, for instance, watch Field of Dreams at least five times during the next eight weeks. I will go to the batting cages to simulate ninth inning scenarios - not fifth inning of a WS game with a runner on 3rd and only one out (you don't bunt at the batting cages!). I will start getting the kids ready for the Spring by playing catch and hitting off the tee. I will light candles for a new commissioner. All of these things will hopefully help the Winter time pass more quickly. It is a La Nina year which means - supposedly - warm, dry Winters so we can play catch when the feeling strikes.

Last year, the Astros were projected to finish last in their division; we came in third. This year, I am sure we will be picked to finish near the bottom again. Third place is in the middle... I can handle that. It just needs to get here so we can hurry up and get on with it.

Bifocals

I have been wearing glasses since I was six years old. I am near-sighted and really only need my glasses for distance. Recently, my near vision has been a little funky especially when I am wearing my glasses and try to focus on close-up stuff. I didn't think anything of it until I mentioned it to my sister and she laughed and said I needed bifocals. My grandma wears bifocals, not me. So I just kept flipping my glasses onto the top of my head when I didn't need them and pulling them down when I did. Finally, though, last week I decided to go get it checked out. The optometrist was at least 22 but no more than 30. She asked me why I thought my near vision was getting worse. Seriously? Did they teach her this in optometry school? Rhetorical questions to make people feel like shit. Yes, I answered, followed by "I'm sure it's because I am getting older." I said this without skipping a beat and have no idea where this came from. Not older, she said, just wiser. Really? Then why did you ask such a stupid question?! So she continues with her exam and finishes up by telling me that my vision hasn't changed much but that I will need bifocals. She also said most people don't need these until they're in their forties so I am aging more quickly than most people. Can you believe this woman? These are actual quotes. I chose not to get bifocals, yet. But when I do decide to get them, I will go to another doctor. One who understands that I am not aging more quickly than other people, I am just ahead of the curve.